No Regrets

'Do you fall in love often?' 'Yes, often. With a view, with a book, with a dog, a cat, with numbers, with friends, with complete strangers, with nothing at all' - Jeanette Winterson

I am very much like this. I have always been in love and excited about my life. With people and the relationships I foster. With books that shaped my life. With views and ideas and how they apply to my little world. With coincidences and quirks of the universe. And, of course, with my cats.

For me, meaningful relationships and genuine connection are everything; my loved ones, friends, family, lovers. But there is another bond that makes my heart full, makes my life joyful and happy.

Have you ever been so lucky to find that one pet, that once-in-a-lifetime connection, your soul animal?

Last year in September, I lost the one and only Titus, and my life hasn’t been the same since. As much as I feel this loss so keenly every day, I also recognise what a tremendous gift from the universe this cat has been, and still continues to be, which helps me reconcile my sometimes seemingly inconsolable grief.

He slept in my arms every night, without fail, even in the summer heat. He greeted me with kisses when I came home. We spent many hours sitting on the couch together, me reading or studying, him purring and content, his silvery paws kneading my knees or trembling with excitement while deeply embedded in his dreamworld. He would often walk me to the tram stop and run towards me as he recognised my steps from far away upon my return. He wanted to be carried around like a baby, up the stairs and around the house, his little arm resting on my shoulder, his loving face next to mine. He was the most wonderful little creature and loyal companion. He was as perfect for me as I was for him; once in a lifetime soul.

The best part of our time together was being aware of just how precious our bond truly was, right then and there. I have zero regrets. There is nothing I could have done better; no moment with him that could have been more wonderful. I didn’t waste a single second I was given with him but cherished it all. I wish I could say that about all the other moments life is made of.

I am so grateful. You cannot make up for lost time; you cannot relive what has been wasted; you cannot pay attention and enjoy in hindsight when an experience or relationship has come to an end.

Titus reminded me to live wide awake, to be present, to love fully, to never take a single moment for granted. It is so easy to move through life distracted, promising ourselves that we will slow down when things get easier, or calmer, or when we have more time, more money, are more experienced, fitter, healthier - the list is endless. But life doesn’t wait, and neither does love.

The only right time to feel, to connect, to savour, to laugh, to be touched and truly seen is right now.

What matters is being fully here; for every heartbeat, every touch, every breath.

Live boldly. Love freely. Feel deeply.

The best moments in life don't need planning, just two people willing to feel them.